5 tips to cultivating self-love & master your inner 'mean girl' with Melissa Ambrosini
We have been listening to Melissa Ambrosini’s thought-provoking and inspiring podcast for years and think it’s time you should too (if you don’t already)! We chat to her about her journey to her dream life and her top hacks for cultivating self-love and mastering your inner mean girl AND so much more.
For our tribe that are yet to discover you, please tell us about your journey and how you created your dream life after your massive health scare / rock bottom point?
It all began back in 2010, when I hit rock bottom and ended up in hospital after burning the candle at both ends. Before that, I was a professional dancer, actress and TV presenter. And although that may sound really glamorous — and although it may have looked like I had a great life on the outside — on the inside I was dying. My health was plummeting, my relationships were toxic, I no longer liked the work I was doing, plus I was dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, depression and an eating disorder. When I ended up in hospital, it was a huge wake up call for me, and that’s what sparked me to turn my whole life around and that is what lead me to my true path.
From there, I wanted to get happy and healthy again so I made that my mission. I went on to study holistic nutrition, health and life coaching, and became a qualified yoga teacher. I learned how to meditate and studied Acu-energetics (energy healing work). But most importantly of all, I begin my inward journey to uncover the true me. From there, I started sharing what I was learning on this newfangled thing (that none of my family or friends had heard of) called a ‘blog’! I began sharing my lessons and learnings on my blog, in my ebooks, e-courses and talks. I knew I was onto something, because women were coming up to me in the street and saying, “Thank you so much for your honesty, I thought I was the only one who dealt with eating issues and a lack of self love.”
Since 2010 I have stayed on my path and true to my mission, which is to inspire women to unlock their full potential and live the life of their dreams. Everything I do and create today is with that intention in my mind and heart. I now speak all over the world. I have two best selling books, Mastering Your Mean Girl and Open Wide, I have a number one podcast The Melissa Ambrosini Show. I have ebooks, meditations, online programs, and lead a tribe of over 4,000 people in my doTERRA team. I love that I get to serve, support and help others with all that I do. It’s the best!
What are your non-negotiables that you have to do every day?
Eat nourishing organic real wholefoods.
Drink clean filtered water.
Get to bed early for ideally 8 delicious hours of deep sleep.
Dance in the kitchen.
Be kind to myself and others.
How do you prime yourself for the day? What do you do to set yourself up for a successful day?
One of the best things I do first thing in the morning is I write down all my MIT’S (Most Important Tasks) for that day, and before I do emails or social media I will get to work on those things. That way, no matter what happens I am moving the needle forward with my goals, dreams and business. Whatever happens after that, and whatever I get ticked off my to do list after that is a bonus.
Another thing I do first thing in the morning that sets me up for the day is meditate. It’s a game changer and life saver for me. Some people wake up and drink coffee, I wake up and meditate.
For our readers that haven't listed to any of your podcasts yet, which ones are your favourite and would you recommend to listen to first?
Oh gosh, they are ALL SO GOOD! Every podcast has inspired me in some way and remind me of something. But a few of my fav’s are…
Conversations with God Neale Donald Walsch
Master your mind and experience heaven on earth with Bruce Lipton
How to achieve everything you desire with Emma Isaacs
How to find 'the one' with Nick Broadhurst
And the episode with Nick and I
What are your 5 top tips for cultivating self-love and mastering your 'inner Mean Girl’?
1. Self love is a big topic and something we really need to become aware of, because
every decision we make comes back to if we have self love or not. If you are overflowing with self love one top tip for cultivating self love is meditation. Start today and commit to a daily practice for however long feels good for you. Starting with 10-15 minutes is great.
2. Create a self love menu with 10 things that make you feel overflowing with self love.
Diving in the ocean, taking an epsom salt and essential oil bath, giving yourself a self love massage and a facial at home whilst you dance around the house to your favourite music. Whatever lights you up. Do one thing from that list daily.
3. Reconnect with your inner child. Make sure she is feeling loved, safe and heard. Often alot of our struggles today stem from childhood trauma, so make sure she feels loved, safe and held.
4. Be kind to yourself.
5. Learn my 3 step ‘Master Your Mean Girl’ process and practice it whenever she pops up. The process goes like this…
Step 1: Practice awareness. Become aware of when your Mean Girl pops up
and tells you that you’re not good enough, thin enough, whatever enough. Most
times we are so unconscious and not present that we aren’t even aware of her
internal dialogue, so bringing your awareness to her words is the first step. Once
you are aware of something, you can’t unknow it.
Step 2: Gently close the door on her. Once you are aware that she has
popped up, you can now choose to gently close the door on her. It’s not about
fighting her, or waging an inner battle — that’ll just cause more pain and
suffering. Instead, it’s a gentle, grateful act that comes from a place of love.
Step 3: Choose love instead. In every moment you have one of two choices…
love or fear. So once you have gently closed the door on her, choose to come
back to your heart and choose love instead of fear. It’s so much more fulfilling
when you do.
What issues are you most passionate about and are actively striving to change?
I work with a company called doTERRA who are dedicated to freeing children from child sex slavery which is something I have been passionate about for years. We are taking action and support the organisation with funding to free more and more children and create homes and environments where they can heal and feel safe.
I am also very passionate about waste and do my best in our home to create as little waste as possible. I also educate people about conscious consumerism, because as a society we over-consume. So as much as I can, I educate others on mindfully making choices that are supportive to themselves and the environment, so that we can leave this earth for our children in the best possible shape we can.
What are your favourite essential oils? How do you use them and what are their benefits?
I love Rose (the oil of divine love). It is known to alleviate symptoms of depression, calm the nervous system, promote feelings of happiness and boost your mood. It is one of the best essential oils to use in your self-love practice. It has the highest frequency of any essential oil and immediately helps to wash away negative emotions or thought patterns. Rose oil is also considered an aphrodisiac and can help stimulate the libido of both men and women. I love adding it to a bath, massaging into my skin or applied directly over the heart. I also wear it as my perfume most days.
Lavender (the oil of communication and calm). Is is one of the most calming and popular oils, Lavender can help calm the mind and the body, supporting anxiety and depression. Anxiety is often indicative of an overactive right frontal lobe so smelling it through the left nostril can help activate the left frontal lobe and immediately calm anxiety. I love applying it behind my ears, on the insides of my wrists or added to a healing bath for the ultimate gift of self-love and nurturing. I also LOVE diffusing it daily to wind down in the evening.
Jasmine (the oil of sexual purity and balance). With it’s warm romantic and floral scent, jasmine is helpful for promoting relaxation, and is also super soothing for dry and irritated skin. I love wearing this as my perfume. It’s delicious.
Magnolia is very calming and relaxing. It can help keep skin clean and healthy-looking as it’s very soothing to the skin. It can also support you when you’re feeling anxious. Magnolia flowers have been used in Chinese traditional health practices to help create a sense of balance within the body. Steam distilled from the sturdy petals of the magnolia flower, has a fruity and floral aroma that helps promote a relaxed atmosphere. I love using this as my perfume and rolling it onto the bottoms of my feet to create feelings of calm and relaxation.
What 3 books would you recommend to our tribe?
Who is somebody you look up to and really inspires you?
My husband Nick Broadhurst. He is my hero. This man wears many hats and is not only an incredible musician, entrepreneur, podcaster, leader, mentor and teacher, he is an amazing dad and husband. The way he does it all and shows up every day with so much love, heart and passion inspired me to do and be the best version of me.
What is the biggest risk you have taken that has paid off?
I guess everything that has felt scary to me is a ‘risk’, but I have never thought of it that way. I just decide with my whole heart that I want to do something like write books, speak on massive stages to thousands of people, create online programs and products… I feel the fear and do it anyway. That’s the key. Feel the fear because the fear will pop up, but do it anyway. Do it despite the fear and what your Inner Mean Girl is telling you. Just do it. GO for it. That’s what I have always done.
What do you like the most about yourself?
I am kind, loyal, loving, big hearted, caring, supportive, thoughtful and silly.
If you could only give your community one piece of advice, what would that be?
You didn’t come here to suffer, you matter and your voice and message matters. The world needs you and your gifts. Trust yourself and stop playing small. Master your Inner Mean Girl and do what your heart desires. Stop waiting and start taking action to live your dream life. Just
go for it. YOU GOT THIS!